The night before Xmas (on the forum)
I cannot let the season pass without an up to date Christmas poem. Sorry, there was snow today. Had a few not turn up!
This is dedicated with sincere and honest thanks to Craig, for making this forum a reality, and to all the bionic posters who make it so Brilliant.
The night before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site
Not a poster was posting, no-one starting a fight.
The “case study, please helps” had been entered with care
In hope that an expert soon would be there
The posters were nestled all snug in their beds
While concepts of physics raced through their heads
And Dave in his Jim jams and Del in his hat
Had just opened bottles of chateau de pap.
When out on the forum arose such a clatter
I raced to log on, to see what the matter
I entered my password and then my log ins
Then swore and repeated with the right number of “n”s
The forum deserted, the threads all the same
The “Posters online” box held only my name.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a Bald cheerful ozzy, full of Christmas Cheer
What a jolly professor, so lively and vague
I knew it could only be our admin Craig
And followed behind him all covered in embers
I saw he was leading the bionic members!
“Come Simon, Come Kevin, come Twirly and steve
On David! Mark Russell and Eric Jav.
To the top of the threads, to the top of the boards
To post new replies and to share your wise words
He was dressed all in black, from his toes to his tip,
He was dressed, for some reason, in all blacks home kit!
And a bundle of spammers he’d banned just that day,
Were all swearing behind that they’d not had their way.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the tash on his lip was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he had left off the set
Cos I have to make this version politically correct
But he had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And he told a daft poster, he thought him a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He was happy to share all the theory he knows!
Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
Specialist in Biomechanical Therapies
small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the universe
Semper in excretum sum sed alta variat