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Things you never want to hear from podiatry patients

Discussion in 'Podiatry Trivia' started by Robertisaacs, Aug 29, 2007.

Tags:
  1. I'm just fine.....not coffee...I ate these blue pills last night and now that I think about it, I swear someone scratched off the "V" and pencilled in a large "M"

    Have some fun my friend! It won't hurt I promise

    PS I hate coffee
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2011
  2. blinda

    blinda MVP

    Fun? I`m sorry, you won`t find any fluff here. You`ve obviously mistaken this professional forum for a place of frivolity.

    I agree. A well written, robust study is awesome. As you appear to have an interest in blue smarties, I`m sure you`ll appreciate this article which discusses a comparative study of Smarties, Buttons, Minstrels and M&Ms (also known as 'the American Smarties').

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/...s-for-blue-smartie-conversations-20080211716/

    Hope that Helps!
    Bel
     
  3. andersonkchan

    andersonkchan Active Member

    The best one.
    "Wow! 4 years just to cut toe nails!"
    lol
     
  4. Nads

    Nads Member

    One thing that I always cring at is
    " oh I don't usually wear these I only put them on today so they were easier to get on and off"
    the patient is usually wearing slip on tight fitting shoes! Do they think we are that stupid! I don't think they can grasp how much the condition of their feet will tell us what they usually wear!
     
  5. Tkemp

    Tkemp Active Member

    New patient presents:
    Me: Who normally cuts your nails?
    Pt: no-one
    Me:eek:h?
    Pt: yeah, I normally bite them
    (AHA gagging in the corner)
    Ick!!
     
  6. I forget who told this story on here, and whether it was on this thread, but it bears repeating.

    A nursing student was doing a rotation through one of the UK podiatry universities. When the tutor came around she said something to the effect of

    "I had no idea there was so much to learn about how to cut toenails. "

    The tutor, we are told, without skipping a beat replied

    "yes, we're all confused about why you spend 3 years learning to wipe a patients arse".

    Thats the gist anyway ;)
     
  7. blinda

    blinda MVP

    Credit, where credit is due;
    Must admit to having paraphrased this a few times since, too.
     
  8. Bethy

    Bethy Member

    Brilliant thread! Haven't laughed this hard in a long time :D

    "I've been to the chiro for my bad back and I thinks that's why my big toe has been hurting- so now my back's better, my toe is too. Do you do refloxology? No? Oh well perhaps you should to be more helpful to people with foot problems"

    "Why do you sweep up after everytime you see me?"......

    And a wound care consultant with a high regard for podiatrists at the local public hospital shared this one. Quote from a nurse regarding an inpatient with a big fat, red sausage toe, who had not had any podiatry intervention as yet- "But why would we bother calling the podiatrist up to see that? They won't even come up to cut people's toenails."

    :bash:
     
  9. Jbwheele

    Jbwheele Active Member

    Re: Things you never want to hear from patients


    "I just think of the money" and I also drop the name of an all black or elite sportsperson that Ive treated.
     
  10. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    Here in Ontario we have a program for clients qualifying for disability. They can get free shoes and free orthotics if required. So I have this woman of great stature who needed a beefy walking shoe. Dispensed shoe plus orthotic, explained break in period, usage, care, etc, the usual.

    Today i saw her name on my list and thought "what now?". Patient came in to return said shoes because "They make me too tall. I don't like that."

    No amount of me explaining the need for support, need to walk with reduced pain etc was going to convince her. Next...
     
  11. Tkemp

    Tkemp Active Member

    Client presented with a missing hallux nail.
    "It was bothering me so I ripped it out with pliers... and its really hurt since... but I do have diabetes"

    Stumped me there, as I had no idea why a toe would hurt after ripping the nail out with pliers!! :rolleyes:
     
  12. Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

    I just tell them it was the glamour that attracted me to it...
     
  13. MAG1064

    MAG1064 Member

    From an 20 year old female patient: "Dr, I think of you every time I get into the bath and lift my leg".. Referring to how she keeps her post bunion surgical dressing dry while bathing of course. But her sister screamed "Penelope (Name changed of course) you can't say that to your doctor. That is when I actually turned so bright red I had to leave the room.
     
  14. MJJ

    MJJ Active Member

    That reminds me of one time when my wife and I test drove a car. When we were done my wife said to the salesman "This car makes me feel short." He looked at her and said "Ummm...you are short."

    Back on topic.....I love these calls that usually come at about 3 in the afternoon "Hi, I have an emergency. I'm a diabetic and I've had an ingrown toenail for a month and I'm going on holidays tomorrow."
     
  15. Lisa L

    Lisa L Member

    "Will you please shave my stumpy mate?" in reference to the possibility of having the HK debrided from the distal end of his BKA as a result of friction from his prosthetic leg. At least that's what I think he meant?...
     
  16. Orthican

    Orthican Active Member

    This one is happening a lot more the last ten years or so.....

    Soon as I walk in I introduce myself and hear...(senseless ringtone)....'scuse me while I get this call...
     
  17. toebiz

    toebiz Member

    Re: A few more from patients, clients, general public

    I had an extremely trying day yesterday. I found this page this morning whilst waiting for a patient... And yes they didn't have the courtesy to ring and cancel. I thought I add a few of my gems.

    I am on that little pink pill you know the one....

    Are you busy?

    My doctor said it was for free?

    My friend / family member said it was a heel spur
     
  18. Hoppo

    Hoppo Member

    Things you never want to hear from patients

    1. Do you know how I can get into see a foot specialist?
    2. I definetly have to much calcium in my toe nails, you can see it right there.
    3. These are expensive shoes you know, they cost me $20.
     
  19. PMSL!! Very mysterious. Too much Yang perhaps?

    What a great thread to start on! If you have enjoyed this thread, you may enjoy some other of our threads...
     
  20. Syndactyl

    Syndactyl Member

    My favourites are,

    1) My shoes are comfortable ............. it's my feet that hurt !

    2) You need to cut them shorter so that they don't grow !?

    3) But I've always worn "good" shoes !


    My favourite comment from a dentist is,

    'How can you bear to touch people's feet ?"

    Seriously ?
     
  21. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    My proctologist asked me the same question...











    I'M JOKING!!! ;)
     
  22. 1. When your feet hurt you hurt all over.
    2. Do you have diabetes? My "real" doctor told me I was "borderline", but he put me on "sugar pills.
    3. I have "The Gout".
     
  23. Orthican

    Orthican Active Member

    My chiropractor thinks I need more in the arch.
     
  24. srd

    srd Active Member

    I reckon I've heard lots of things but this got me by surprise.

    When asking the patient why she was here, her reply was " I want a TABLET to straighten my toes". Wonder where she heard about those??
     
  25. Perhaps if you wedged it between 1 and 2...

    Perhaps not.

    Had a beauty today. From two rather wonderful and concerned parents who really deserved better from their professionals.

    "The nurse said if she drank lots of probiotic yoghurt, it would help the good bacteria fight the verruca"

    :bang:

    The Dalwhennie is calling me...
     
  26. madmacaw

    madmacaw Member

    Whilst on a two week block placement in last year of uni, a patient walks into the room and says:

    "You are insured aren't you? I need to know if I can sue if anything goes wrong"

    :eek:
     
  27. nl689

    nl689 Member

    Funny enough i heard a patient ask this while i was sitting in on a procedure during my uni clinic session..

    "So you're not a doctor?"

    And after wasting some time explaining podiatry to her she says to my supervisor

    "Why bother if you can't be a doctor"

    Arghhh!!!
     
  28. nl689

    nl689 Member

    Oh and the always classic..

    "Do you have a foot fetish?"
     
  29. Sam randall posted the best answer I've seen to this one.

    Look deeply into their eyes whilst holding their foot gently in your hands and say "oh yes, and yours are simply divine..."

    I accept no responsibility for HPC complaints arising if you try this.
     
  30. nl689

    nl689 Member


    See I love that idea. But it amazes me how people can be so simple minded and how idiotic sometimes. No wonder there aren't too many of us around.
     
  31. Elizabeth Humble-Thomas

    Elizabeth Humble-Thomas Active Member

    All patients are bonkers. Would anyone ask a teacher if they were obsessed by children? Or if a plumber had a thing about U bends, or if an electrician was keen on fuses?
    No, I didn't dream of doing this job, but it's very satisfying and challenging, and I've been able to work 3 days a week, bring up three children, get divorced and support myself, and face the future without fear.
    Did I say that all patients are bonkers?What I should have said is that they are my dear friends and supporters, I've helped them and they have helped me .
     
  32. richardrobley

    richardrobley Active Member

    The doctor has just diagnosed me with hulgus bulgus???
    These are good shoes! They cost me £60
    I've got the sugar!
     
  33. RossPod

    RossPod Member

    1. It's good to steep your feet in dettol isn't it?....
    2. Those insoles you made me work great, but my feet hurt when I don't wear them....
    3. My last podiatrist said my hard skin was due to not drinking enough water...
     
  34. blinda

    blinda MVP


    :D Yep, definitely a plus part of the job :drinks

    Just realised that this is my pinnacle 1,000th post. Of course it is as deep and meaningful as the rest :eek:
     
  35. MarkS

    MarkS Welcome New Poster

    What? Sorry? Beg your Pardon? I'm a little hard of hearing.

    Do you have hearing aids?

    Oh yes but they're in my bag/at home.

    Why?

    They anoy me/ I don't loke them.......................
     
  36. Mr C.W.Kerans

    Mr C.W.Kerans Active Member

    " I would have been here sooner but......."
    " What! It couldn't be that long since I was with you last, could it?......"
    " I would have been back sooner, but you were on holiday......"
    ......and, the ever popular gymnastics of trying to get into the treatment chair over the front footrest - its a silent thing but something you would rather not see - I reckon about 10% do it.
     
  37. Variation on a theme, Things the patient does not want to hear during surgery. From a lovely student (and I'm sure she won't mind me sharing.)

    "I'm going to have to put you down".

    She meant the chair but the look on the patients face was priceless.
     
  38. petethe feet

    petethe feet Member

    You wont hurt me will you ? ! ! !
    I have pains in me feet, that's because I have too much acid in my body ! ??????? ( I did not know that .!!!)
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  39. yehuda

    yehuda Active Member

    lmao just read this whole thread

    have 2 favourites

    1) in uni patient comes into biomechanics lab saying she has a vulva on the end of her big toe
    2) had a patient with an igtn and did a pna, everything was gr8 2 weeks later after redressings and all, phones me up he is in agony so make emergency appointment. He turns up with his wife furious because he is in so much pain , I look and tell him the toe is healing perfectly and diagnose his pain as gout, told him to go to gp get blood tests but I am 99% sure its gout. so 2 days later the wife phones furious and calling me all sorts of names that the GP said it was an infection and gave antibiotics, but still took a blood test.


    3 days later same patient phones to apologise ..IT WAS GOUT

    hahah told him not to gout me in the future
     
  40. I thought too much acid in the body caused purple dancing elephants wearing tutus to appear in the bathroom. Pains in the feet? Bad trip man!
     
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