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"You look very hansome in your greens did I tell you I was registered blind"

Err Ohh Thanks...I think.

No she doesn't mind you sharing since her sense of humour is second to none.
I can go one better and you might remember this from my first LA- "let's just get this over with shall we?" clearly I was in far more pain than the patient at the time!
I really didn't consider the impact of that sentence out loud. Something to reflect on eh?

- always happens during a really busy clinic, a patient or two backed up in the waiting room -'it's a bit cold today, so I put my tights on under my trousers' (generally in patients with arthritic hands, and who can't reach their feet)...
Also, in they stumble with two bin bags full of shoes'I thought you'd like to have a look at these' (
on balance, not right now)
Or, waving their last silicones at you, which are still in perfect nick 'perhaps you could make me three sets of these in case they break'

Ah yes. Happy days.

I'm sure she'll do well. I remember another of her practice patients who kept on at her to pull back cos she was trying to inject intradermally into the plantar skin from the inside!

Honestly, things were much easier when students practiced on each other. Then you got the valuable experience of doing LA while someone shouts abuse at you.

__________________
Robert Isaacs
Specialist in Biomechanical Therapies
www.Footprintspodiatrysolutions.co.uk

small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the universe

Semper in excretum sum sed alta variat

Hi Rob

.

Oh Really .......

Works though dont you think
Cheers
D

__________________
My location

http://www.surreyfootcare.co.uk

"Political Correctness" is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end

Are you sure that was me??
Sounds horrendous

Oh yes I've just remembered.
Tee hee

1. If I was 20 years younger I'd..... (more like 50 years! & still not even if hell froze over!)
2. I haven't seen a podiatrist before.. I usually just use the angle grinder when the callous on my heels gets bad".
3. "I've got a good pair of wire cutters I use to cut those thick nails. That gets through em.."
4. "You don't need to touch my ulcer. The district nurse does it. THEY know what they are doing".... "Oh, I didn't know YOU people treated ulcers.Oh".
5. "I just got my vaginal stitches out, do you want to see that too?"

"I had my toe nail permanently removed several years ago and I'd like it to grow back now please, it's been no bother" erm... What...?

whilst on placement a couple of weeks ago a patient with a neuropathic ulcer attends the wrong clinic, then goes on to state that he does not want to travel to the other site (where the more experienced podiatrists are) as its too far. He then goes on to state that he has been looking after the ulcer himself by making his own dressings and is only here as he was told to come by his doctor. He also kindly points out that he expects the ulcer to be gone in 3-4 weeks, as you can imagine this went down really well

also the thing about "if I was ten years younger" I got this off a woman in her late 60s, im only 24!

A classic today~ returning patient who saw a collegue 3 days ago~ "I want you to cut more off but don't damage the varnish, I've just paid £30 for a pedicure---what do you mean this is going to cost me another £25??? Don't bovver!!!."....... I rest me case m'lud.....

Old female patient

"I think I've got plantar facetiousness!

You are so right

Skin head visitor from mental health hospital up the street
"can you help me get this poltergeist out of my head"
Sorry I can't, have you tried up the street, let me show you.
I then accidentally dropped the latch and locked my self outside with him, 7.00 pm and dark.
Beam me up Scotty!

Can we put things that emi patients in nursing homes call me? probably not, far to explicit, lol.

I have a lady who every visit wants me to remove the calculus from the sulci. I've been explaining for about 7 years now but as she turns 100 in July I think I can let her off.

The one thing that patients say that I really wish they wouldn't :

Me: are you allergic to anything
Patient: chiropodists!! (GRRR!!!)
(it's gotten so common that I've started getting in there before them by saying " apart from Chiropodists, is there anything you are allergic to?)

Really? No-one ever said that to me.
Perhaps it's a Staffordshire thing. The most common thing they seem to be allergic to here in Bournemouth is pain, with a little glance over to my instruments.

for me is: "should i call you a doctor or a nurse?

HaHa, you should reply, " I didn't know I was ill"

Hi all, I'm a Thai podiatrist working in Singapore

Some of my patients said to me......

1. Can you put the insoles into my sandals? It's too hot to wear closed-shoes and I think they are ugly. ----- (-__-")

2. Why do you have to get the custom insoles made from Australia, I'm sure the "China" ones are the same.

3. I don't cover my wounds because I'm seeing you (podiatrist) today. --- (This pt has fleshy exudative wounds!!!)

4. Some cockroaches ate up my wound while I was sleeping, do I have diabetes? ---- (What??!!)

..........

Last week's gem; "I've had a BLOOD CLOTH since I was last here".

Been looking thru the list and I haven't seen this one

"You're rubbish, give me my money back and I'll find someone else"

And one that me and my lady patient absolutely wet ourselves laughing like silly school children (and she's a manager at the GMC)

"Oh flippin heck! what did you just put in my crack? it really stings"

Now any mention of the word crack has us corpsing all over the place. I've made the rule only to use the term fissure. (don't say fishy fissures )

Regards Dave Smith

__________________
Descartes seems to consider here that beliefs formed by pure reasoning are less doubtful than those formed through perception.

I hate it when patients say...

1. In response to me asking if they're taking any medication, "nothing you need to know about".

2. "What on earth made you want to do this for a living".

Although I have to say, when I ask what the problem is and the reply is "I've got pain in my balls" I do chuckle :-D

Oh please, Please Please please

I get that!

Patients saying that I mean.

__________________
Robert Isaacs
Specialist in Biomechanical Therapies
www.Footprintspodiatrysolutions.co.uk

small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the universe

Semper in excretum sum sed alta variat

I once had a phone call, "my gp tells me I've got an ingrown toenail, you said I didn't "
Quick check of record card.
"perhaps I also told you Mr. Major was prime minister, and now your gp tells you that it's Blair, you see, a lot can happen in 18 months"

"I forgot my wallet, I'll be right back."

__________________
My location

I saw one of my regular patients the other day who had just had a procedure on her eye the day before.

During treatment, I removed a slice of thickened, involuted nail, which hit the side of the toe as it flicked off.


'Ow! that really hurt!' She cried. 'I'd rather have my eyeball injected again than go through that again!'

Not the kind of thing you want to hear!

Oh lovely! I've brought my razor, can you shave my legs?

3 true events from NHS podiatry in the UK:
1. Lady came in in open toed sandals and said 'I hope my feet aren't too dirty, I've been mucking out the pigs and I haven't had time to wash.'

2. The following conversation between me and Patient (Pt). Note - our department sent out appointment cards:
Pt: How do I get another appointment?
Me: When you require treatment, send your appointment card in to our office and they will send it back with a new appointment.
Pt: But I haven't got a card.
Me: You must have.
Pt: No, I haven't got a card.
Me: It's a small white one with 'Podiatry Service' on the top in big black letters and a grid for appointments to be written in.
Pt: No, I haven't got a card.
Me: You must have, otherwise you wouldn't have come today.
Pt: Well, I haven't had a card.
Me: Well our office does not give out appointments over the phone, they must have sent you a card with the appointment on.
Pt: No, I haven't got a card
Me: Well, you're the right person on the right day at the right time at the right clinic, so how did you know to come here today at this time?
Pt: They sent me a card . . .

3. This happened to a colleague of mine. he went out into a waiting room and called 'Mrs Smith please'. Four ladies got up and came towards him - NONE OF WHOM WAS MRS SMITH !!!!!

Happy days

Great thread

Andrew