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Ashes summer, get sledging!

Discussion in 'Break Room' started by Peter, Jul 7, 2009.

  1. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member


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    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/cricket/article6643951.ece

    As its the Ashes summer, i thought I'd post this link.

    To our Canadian/US/Spanish friends, us Poms and Aussies love to insult each other in the friendly game of cricket, and sledging itself has become as much a part of cricket as tea and drinks.

    My personal favourite was when one unnamed erudite Aussie bowler approached the portly English Batsman Mike Gatting as he was coming into bat, and asked him "Mike, why are you so fat?". the Aussies laughed, and then Mike replied "Because every time I S@*G your wife, she gives me a biscuit" :D:D:D

    Come on England!:boxing:
     
  2. NewsBot

    NewsBot The Admin that posts the news.

    Articles:
    1

    The Ashes

    The Ashes is a men's Test cricket series played biennially between England and Australia. The term originated in a satirical obituary published in a British newspaper, The Sporting Times, immediately after Australia's 1882 victory at The Oval, its first Test win on English soil. The obituary stated that English cricket had died, and that "the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia".[1] The mythical ashes immediately became associated with the 1882–83 series played in Australia, before which the English captain Ivo Bligh had vowed to "regain those ashes". The English media therefore dubbed the tour the quest to regain the Ashes.

    After England won two of the three Tests on the tour, a small urn was presented to Bligh in Melbourne.[2] The contents of the urn are reputed to be the ashes of a wooden bail, and were humorously described as "the ashes of Australian cricket".[3] It is not clear whether that "tiny silver urn" is the same as the small terracotta urn given to Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) by Bligh's widow after his death in 1927.

    The Ashes urn has never been the official trophy of the series, having been a personal gift to Bligh,[4] but replicas of the urn have often been held aloft by the winning team as a symbol of their victory. Since the 1998–99 Ashes series, the Ashes Trophy, a Waterford Crystal trophy modelled on the Ashes urn, has been presented to the winners of the series. Irrespective of which side holds the trophy, the original urn remains in the MCC Museum at Lord's. It has been taken to Australia twice to be put on touring display, as part of the Australian Bicentenary celebrations in 1988 and to accompany the Ashes series in 2006–07.

    Ashes series have usually consisted of five Tests, hosted in turn by England and Australia approximately every two years. The Ashes are regarded as being held by the team that most recently won the series. If the series is drawn, the team that currently holds the Ashes "retains" the trophy.

    There have been 73 Ashes series. Australia have won 34 and retained six times from draws (40); England have won 32 and retained once (33).

    1. ^ Wendy Lewis; Simon Balderstone & John Bowan (2006). Events That Shaped Australia. New Holland. p. 75. ISBN 978-1-74110-492-9.
    2. ^ "Summary of Events". The Illustrated Australian News. Melbourne. 20 February 1884. p. 18.
    3. ^ "Cricket". The Mercury. Hobart. 4 June 1908. p. 8.
    4. ^ "The Ashes History". Lords. Archived from the original on 9 October 2018. Retrieved 21 December 2018.
     
  3. DaVinci

    DaVinci Well-Known Member

    I will start. The poms cheated in the first test with their delaying tactics. ...its all they could do to avoid loosing and forcing a draw.
     
  4. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    And Ponting was deliberately feigning a catch, delaying a match is one thing, trying to get a man who clearly wasn't out is pure unsporting, and whilst we are on, how about Ponting and his girls claiming LBW everytime even when the ball was going 2 foot wide of the off stump. Shall we give Punter a copy of the rules, or does he set his own because he's Australian?
     
  5. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    I always remember a banner held up in one of the tests when Lilley and Thompson (2 Australian 'gentlemen') were bouncing and beaming (for those who don't know, a bouncer is a ball bounced from the ground but aimed at the batsman's head at around 90 miles an hour, and is not illegal - just outside the spirit of the game if used at every opportunity - the rules had to be revised to stop this happening - and a beamer is a full toss ie. does not bounce, also aimed at the batsman's head at 90 + miles an hour and is illegal) England out of the game. On this occasion the Aussies seemed to find that their blatant cheating was perfectly acceptable - in fact they always seem to find their cheating perfectly acceptable and only cry (Shane Warne) when others do something similar but much lesser to them. The Aussie crowd were holding up banners proclaiming 'kill 'im', brain 'im', 'die you bastard' and other such sporting slogans but 2 lonely Englishmen unfurled their banner which simply stated "Australians Can't Play Cricket".

    The delightful thing is that the poor devils simply didn't, and still don't, understand it.

    Bill Liggins

    PS After the match, I really enjoyed Punter's whingeing creased up face, although in all fairness, he didn't cry like Warney
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2009
  6. stevewells

    stevewells Active Member

    cheeky sod!!! - thats great coming from a person whose national cricket team committed the ultimate act of cowardice bowling underarm - chicken**** cricket teams wear yellow for a reason!!
     
  7. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Come on Aussies

    You are the kings of insult, give some back.

    It was really good to see Punter seething when he was given out for 2. Of course, he knows better than the 2 umps on the field and the 3rd ump!

    Yours affectionately

    Bill
     
  8. congrates on the win at lords......

    about time 70 odd years since you last beat Australia at the home of cricket..

    bring on the next test

    Michael Weber
     
  9. stevewells

    stevewells Active Member

    Thank you - and as usual you didnt give it up - great fight your guys put up - im sure the next one will be just as thrilling - let's hope the umpires can be a bit more consistent eh?
    not impressed with them this time

    cheers
     
  10. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Thanks Mike

    Clarke really kept his end up and the Aussies in the crowd gave great support.

    Anyway, you'll forgive us for taking pleasure in Freddie Flintoff getting man-of-the-match in his last Lords test.

    Hope the rain keeps off for Edgbaston (not a million miles from me).

    Cheers

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  11. Hylton Menz

    Hylton Menz Guest

    I'm currently doing a 6 month fellowship in the UK, so I'm very much enjoying following the Ashes from within the enemy gates.

    Congratulations to England on the test win. However, it has to be said that England has an additional player on their team - the weather ;). I arrived just over two weeks ago and it has rained pretty much every day...

    The newspaper coverage over here is very enjoyable - I'm sure no paper in Australia could have pulled off a story like the Guardian's front page picture of Ricky Ponting after losing his wicket with the smug headline "How does it feel, Ricky?". Brilliant.
     
  12. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Well, come on! You creamed us last time and can hardly blame us for taking the cheating whingeing Punter to task!

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  13. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Hi DaVinci, Hylton & Mike (+ any other demented Diggers)

    Well, you really creamed us at Headingly with the help of the ump. - what goes around, comes around - and the assistance of the England selectors; if only Geoff Boycott was still playing, we would have bored you out of the game!

    The process was designed to lull you into a false sense of security ready for Freddie Flintoff's return at the Oval. Unfortunately, I shall be away, so will not be there for what will, hopefully, be a really good crunch match.

    All the best (worst for the cricket)

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  14. Thanks for that Bill.

    Apparently Boycott is too old so they are talking about bring in the young Ramprakash for the game.

    Michael Weber
     
  15. big day today and for the 4 days after.

    Hope the weather, umpirers dont disrupt the natural flow of the game and the best team wins ( or draws ).

    Come on aussie

    Michael Weber
     
  16. Yatesy

    Yatesy Welcome New Poster


    I know its Rugby and not Cricket but I was in Australia for the 2003 World Cup and the stuff the Aussie press was printing about England was far worse than anything I have seen in the UK, To be fair the Herald did print a full page apology after we beat them in the Final!

    What made me laugh was the ECB asking the crowd not to boo Ponting when he came out to bat, its all good natured and the Eng players were getting the same during the last Ashes tour in Australia. Again its all done in good nature and both side give as good as they get, long may it continue IMHO

    Mark
    :drinks
     
  17. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    I got back early and am looking at the live web updates. It peed down earlier on but it's nice and sunny now. Australia are 125 for 7 following England's 1st innings of 332 all out (Siddle bowled well and looked really aggressive). Broad, who didn't bat badly, is doing the damage for England. I'm predicting nothing, there's another innings yet, but why the Aussies didn't play a spinner on the Oval track is a bit of a mystery.

    I disagree Yatesy; we should not boo the vile and repulsive Punter, we are not Australians (anyway, he's doing a very good job of humiliating himself!)

    Oops, Johnsons just gone. 131 for 8! Can those beastly chaps from down under save the follow-on (2 runs)?

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  18. It would be churlish to gloat. But I'm going to anyway.

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

    Pommie bastard Robert
     
  19. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm not going to gloat. Given the track at the Oval, had the Aussies won the toss, they would almost certainly have won. Even given an impossible target to chase they behaved with guts and determination and went for it, so the match was exciting to the end. Even the replusive Punter, having decided to field close in without a helmet and having been smacked in the mouth by a fast ball simply spat out the blood and carried on - and then batted for a creditable 66.

    Thanks Freddo - may you go on to displace those old men from Middlesex and Surrey on the England selectors board and pick a team worthy to take on them Down Under next time.

    Diggers, the one day series is to come, so don't stop sledging!

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  20. dear all Pommie bastards.

    May you all feel crap today with huge hangovers. Was away for the weekend at a weddings so did not see or here about the game just saw the results.

    Well done to the english team.

    Michael Weber
     
  21. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    Feel like a million dollars me:D

    Well done to the Aussies for sticking in on their 2nd innings, made it worth winning all the more.

    Hope the Aussie press aren't too harsh on Punter, he is a tremendous batsman.

    No doubt the Aussies will get revenge in December 2010, but for now we will enjoy the moment.

    See you at the Riverside (Durham) on the 20th September for the one day game:boxing:
     
  22. Yep :morning:.

    Nah, to the fair it was a good game and for a while I honestly thought Messirs ponting and Hussey were going to do the impossible and hang in there. And thats with Mr Ponting having taken a ball to the face (which looked REALLY nasty!)

    The winners were the fans and the game. I can't remember a game when everyone was glued to the scorecard quite so avidly!

    So, Aussies, do you see how much better it is all around when you DON'T win 5 - 0? Please think ont for next year!;)

    Regards
    Pommie bastard Robert.

    PS And tottenham hotspur are 9 points from 3 games!!! This has been a great month sport wise!
     
  23. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Thanks Mike

    I had 3 pints of Old Peculier and a couple of glasses of wine (Australian, of course).

    I have to agree with Robert. Punter does have a really nasty face, which suits him. He is a great batsman but do you think that the selectors will remove his captaincy after making the very serious error of not playing his 'full time' spinner on the Oval pitch? I thought that North bowled really well.

    By the way, Robert's reference to Tottenham Hostspur is to a game designed for gentlemen but played (and followed) by ruffians. Tottenham is a London club made up of foreigners, who are regularly beaten by other clubs made up of other foreigners.

    Maybe see you Down Under in December 2010 if 'er indoors allows me.

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  24. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

  25. I dont think they will take away his captaincy there was quite the discussion in the aust papers that I read today.They dont encourage the captain to play on if they take the captain title away. So no captain no punter which means we would lose our best batsman. I also think clarke needs a little more time.

    Mike Weber

    ps maybe the 1st PA Confernce can be in oz 2010 so us in Europe can write the trip off against tax if you can see where I´m going with this.
     
  26. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Well, you creamed us again in the first two one day games; so a big well played on that. Hopefully, England will stop giving their wickets away in future though.

    Brett Lee looks as though he's back to his best (consistent 92 mph), so we'll have to play some batsmen to join Strauss.

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  27. Were is the love 4 - 0 I know its another series and it´s not the ashes but a win is a win and a series win as well. Also a good warm up for the champions throphy but I guess most of you have moved on to the football.
     
  28. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Typical of you nasty rough Australians to get your revenge. (Well played you swines). From your spelling of 'trophy', I guess you've been on the tinnies all night.

    Mind you, you cheated again, you played Lee and sent for Punter, which was unfair because our best batsmen (with the exception of Strauss, only batsmen!) were unable to play.

    What's this 'football'? Is that something to do with rugby?

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  29.  
  30. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    Yup on Saturday, after the gut wrenching news that Chelsea had beaten my team (yet again in injury time!), I thought I would tune into TMS, only to hear that Australia had narrowly avoided defeat, to scrape a win by half a dozen wickets!

    needed a lie down after all that bad news!
     
  31. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Well Mike et al, we nearly thrashed you in the one dayers. Just 6-1 to you!

    Maybe see you in Aus in a couple of years.

    All the best

    Pommie Bastard Bill
     
  32. Jonathan

    Jonathan Active Member

    Not a good weekend for Aussie i am affraid

    Thrashed by the AB's in Rugby
    Thrashed by English (10-1) athletics- You did win the shot putt (you are good a throwing games)
    Even England managed to win a one day (Cricket).
     
  33. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    I find it really sad to hear of the death of the 'voice of cricket' Richie Benaud. In a sporting world where words like 'phenomenol, magnificent, sublime' are banded about like cheap currency, Richie Benaud was all those and more, and deserving of his status.

    Even us Poms know genius when we see it, RIP Richie.
     
  34. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Never forget him taking part in a celebrity golf tournament. He knocked in a putt which wobbled agonisingly round the hole before going in. Peter Allis said that he thought it was a bit of a knee trembler. Benaud replied that they have an entirely different definition of a knee trembler in Oz!

    RIP and I'll have a glass in memory.

    Bill
     
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