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Bushisms

Discussion in 'Break Room' started by Craig Payne, Oct 12, 2004.

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  1. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    Articles:
    8

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    "I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

    "I'm not the expert on how the Iraqi people think, because I live in America, where it's nice and safe and secure." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

    "When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. Sept. 19, 2001

    "The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them." -George W. Bush, Albuquerque, N.M., Aug. 15, 2001

    "The CIA laid out several scenarios and said life could be lousy, life could be OK, life could be better, and they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like." -George W. Bush, New York City, Sept. 21, 2004

    "As you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's - ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions - you can't - we're out of sanctions." -George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

    "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." -George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

    "I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" -George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

    "Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." -George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

    "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video clip)

    "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video clip)

    "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Watch video clip)

    "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" -Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

    "They misunderestimated me." -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

    "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

    "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." -Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

    "So community colleges are accessible, they're available, they're affordable, and their curriculums don't get stuck. In other words, if there's a need for a certain kind of worker, I presume your curriculums evolved over time." -George W. Bush, Niceville, Fla., Aug. 10, 2004

    "I wish I wasn't the war president. Who in the heck wants to be a war president? I don't." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

    "I mean, if you've ever been a governor of a state, you understand the vast potential of broadband technology, you understand how hard it is to make sure that physics, for example, is taught in every classroom in the state. It's difficult to do. It's, like, cost-prohibitive." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 24, 2004

    "And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?" -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 15, 2004

    "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

    "Like you, I have been disgraced about what I've seen on TV that took place in prison." -George W. Bush, Parkersburg, West Virginia, May 13, 2004

    "My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 21, 2004

    "God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." -George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004

    "Recession means that people's incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 19, 2004

    "In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." -George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

    "More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than - I say more Muslims - a lot of Muslims have died - I don't know the exact count - at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

    "The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens - she calls me, 'George W.' - 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway - she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen." -George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004

    "The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small business owner or a large business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war." -George W. Bush, Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004

    "The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been - some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started - but nevertheless, it happened as we showed up here. The attacks on our country affected our economy. Corporate scandals affected the confidence of people and therefore affected the economy. My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy." -George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

    "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office - I love to bring people into the Oval Office - right around the corner from here - and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

    "Laura and I are proud to call John and Michelle Engler our friends. I know you're proud to call him governor. What a good man the Englers are." -George W. Bush, Nov. 2000

    "I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes." -George W. Bush, Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

    "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" -George W. Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

    "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." -George W. Bush, Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

    "Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" -George W. Bush, Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

    "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -George W. Bush, Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000

    "I understand small business growth. I was one." -George W. Bush, New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

    "I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university." -George W. Bush, Today, Feb. 23, 2000

    "I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California." -George W. Bush, in Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

    "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -George W. Bush, Reuters, May 5, 2000

    "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." -George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000
     
  2. toemeister

    toemeister Member

    But then Kerry is a slime ball.
     
  3. bob

    bob Active Member

    The most powerful man in the world

    I've got tears in my eyes! Absolute classics. If I was American I'd vote Bush every time. Every time there was a comedy poll. Kerry is a slimeball. Kerry is a politician. Good luck deciding my future!
    Bob (England) :D
     
  4. Bruce Williams

    Bruce Williams Well-Known Member

    Nice ones craig! Always enjoy your sense of humor! Has Kevin Kirby commented on any of these yet? ;)
    Sincerely;
    Bruce
     
  5. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    Articles:
    8
    Here is another:

    Another Bushism:

    "Any time of the year it's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."

    ....if you lose a loss of life, does that mean the dead body comes alive?
     
  6. Secretary Rice and President Bush have a chat...

    George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

    Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

    George: Great. Lay it on me.

    Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

    George: That's what I want to know.


    Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

    George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: I mean the fellow's name.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The guy in China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The new leader of China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The main man in China!

    Condi: Hu is leading China.

    George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

    Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

    George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

    Condi: That's the man's name.

    George: That's who's name?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.

    Condi: That's correct.

    George: Then who is in China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir is in China?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Then who is?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, thanks.

    Condi: You want Kofi?

    George: No.

    Condi: You don't want Kofi.

    George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

    Condi: And call who?

    George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

    Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

    George: Will you stay out of China?!

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi.

    George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
     
  7. Colleagues of Podiatry Arena:

    While you are all are making fun of the President of the United States, why don't you also make fun of the other leaders of countries that are represented in Podiatry Arena? Or is it only the United States that is so fun to pick on?

    I'm sure we can make fun of the leaders from the UK, Australia, New Zealand and other countries? I'm sure that there are plenty of jokes about Prime Minister Tony Blair, Queen Elizabeth II, Prime Minister John Howard, Prime Minister Helen Clark and others that we can laugh about on this podiatry website.

    I would suggest that some of us from the United States, even though we don't agree with everything our President does, may feel very much like our wonderful country is being singled out as the butt of the jokes here on Podiatry Arena. I would feel much better, in this international forum, to see jokes about all the leaders of the countries of the world, instead of jokes just on the USA.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2006
  8. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    Articles:
    8
    Kevin

    Type "liar" into google and see who is ranked number one (or maybe 2 some times).

    DO NOT type "miserable failure" into Google to see who ranks numero uno for that term.

    CP
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2006
  9. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    Articles:
    8
    In the interest of fairness and balance, here are two jokes about Australia Prime Minister:
     
  10. admin

    admin Administrator Staff Member

  11. Bruce Williams

    Bruce Williams Well-Known Member

    Craig;
    Oh my, that first one was a hoot!!!! I'll have to remember that one, but with the name changed!!! ;)
    Bruce
    LOL!!!
     
  12. Bruce Williams

    Bruce Williams Well-Known Member


    Oh wait!!! French Military Victories...LOL!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still getting up off the floor!!!! That wins the prize today for sure!!!
    Bruce Williams
     
  13. Nope, but you have to admit the current Presidency has provided some outstanding material over the last six years. But there are other justifiable targets too - as you rightly point out. This from the Christmas Day post:
    ...and no Bush or Clinton in sight - not even for the shrimping!
     
  14. R.E.G

    R.E.G Active Member

    Hope we brits have a good sense of humour

    Try this one, even mentions feet

    Title HRH

    It's reported that on their wedding night the following took place:

    As Camilla was making last minute preparations to walk down the aisle, she found that her shoes were missing. She was forced to borrow her sister's, which were a bit on the small side.

    When the day's festivities were finally over, Charles and Camilla withdrew to their room (right next door to the Queen's and Prince Phillip's).

    As soon as Charles and Camilla were inside their room, Camilla flopped on the bed and said, "Darling, please get these shoes off. My feet are killing me."

    The ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked the right shoe with vigour, but it was stuck fast.

    "Harder!" Camilla yelled. "Harder!"
    "I'm trying, darling!" The Prince yelled back. "It's just so bloody tight!"
    "Come on! Give it all you've got!" she implored.

    There was a big groan from the Prince, and then Camilla exclaimed,
    "There! That's it! Oh that feels good! Oh that feels SO good!"

    In the bedroom next door, the Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said
    "See? I told you, with a face like that she was still a virgin."

    Back in the bridal suite, Charles was trying to pry off the left shoe.
    "Oh my God, darling! This one's even tighter!" exclaimed the heir to the throne.

    At which Prince Phillip turned to the Queen and said, "That's my boy. Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"

    Bob
     
  15. markjohconley

    markjohconley Well-Known Member

    kevin, "insulting"??, mate, telling jokes about messieurs bush (blair & howard) is the very least insult, ....................."french military victories" is a classic!!!....., mark c
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2006
  16. Hylton Menz

    Hylton Menz Guest

    I don't have any jokes about our PM (he's not really very funny), but here's a classic photo of Johnny stuffing up the traditional Maori greeting:

    [​IMG]

    ...another couple showing his natural affinity with children:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    ...and finally, Big John gearing up for the War on (T)error:

    [​IMG]
     
  17. admin

    admin Administrator Staff Member

    The wonders of Google .. this will be different depending on which country you are it...but did you notice the adverts at the top of the page. Google crawls the pages and automatically serves up what it considers relevant adverts ... clever. From here they are adverts all about George Bush and the Iraq war!!
     
  18. Craig, Hylton, Mark, Bob and Mark:

    Thanks to all of you for contributing to the humerous contributions regarding our world leaders.....I feel much better now since, I, as well as anyone, know the shortcomings of our President, George W. Bush. At least now I don't feel as if the problems of the USA are being singled out in this international forum.

    Bob, your story is a classic and I will be sure to memorize this one for future communications with podiatrists, operating room nurses, anesthesiologists, and other medical personnel. It's the best laugh I have had in a while and may be one of the best foot related jokes I have ever heard.
     
  19. The cabin door opens. Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses; one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

    The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.

    As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

    And in the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."


    ..............................................
     

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