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A young couple was planning to get married. But the groom had very smelly feet and the bride had terrible halitosis. Neither of them wanted the other to discover their problem so he decided to always wear socks, and she decided not to say a word in the morning until she had brushed her teeth. The couple were married and for the first six months neither one knew of the others problem, thanks to his perpetual socks and her morning silence. Then shortly before dawn one morning, the husband woke with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. He frantically searched the bed but could not find it anywhere. All the movement woke his wife and without thinking, she turned to him and asked,
"What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, my," he replied, "you've swallowed my sock!"
Apparently only Frank Zappa holds the honour of writing a pop song about bromidrosis.
In the early hours of one morning, an irrate lady telephones her local vet...
Mrs Jones..
"There are two dogs outside my window mating, and they have been 'at it' most of the night. I have thrown water over them, shouted at them, thrown stones at them and tried to beat them with a stick, but still they keep on. It's driving me mad, and whats more I think it utterly disgusting.......your a vet what should I do?"
Vet..
"Mrs Jones, have you been down to them and asked that one of them is wanted on the telephone?"